Keeping kids safe from bullying has never been harder for parents, teachers, and families. If the physical world weren’t enough for us to keep up with, we’re now learning more every day about the importance of keeping our eyes and ears open for cyberbullying across our children’s email, smart phone, social media, and even school-related sites. It’s not just the Internet that’s talking about it — TV news shows, radio personalities, and magazines are increasingly talking about cyberbullying and how it affects everyone, especially kids. But what is it exactly, and what can be done to help prevent the bullying in the first place?

There are many definitions of cyberbullying out there to choose from, but they all break down to something like this:

Cyberbullying Definition

Cyberbullying is any form of intentional harassment that takes place online or by using electronic devices such as smartphones, personal computers, iPods, tablets, and other hand-held devices like the Kindle. It can happen through text messages, social media posts, online chat (IM‘s, or instant messaging), and on websites. (A famous example being Internet forums)

Nowadays, as many as 1 in 3 children say they’ve been cyberbullied (Source), and half of the kids who are cyberbullied never tell their parents (Source). It may come to some people as a surprise that girls are more likely to be an online bully than boys, (Source) but at the end of the day and regardless of whether it’s a boy or girl doing it — it’s wrong, it’s harmful, and it’s a growing problem among school-age children.

So what can parents, teachers, and other friends and family do to help combat the situation? Now that we have it defined, we can focus on the areas it happens. Keeping a watchful eye on Internet activity, games played on iPods and Kindles, who your kids are texting (and what they’re saying!), and in general keeping tabs on their electronic life is a fantastic first line of defense against cyberbullies. Just remember that it’s not about snooping or invading privacy. It’s about ensuring the health and well-being of your children and teaching them to use caution when interacting with anyone online.

Some of what cyberbullies pick up on are things that we put out there in the first place, so there are some things everyone (kids, parents… seriously, anyone at all) can do to help prevent bullying before it happens.

• No Personally Identifiable Information:

  Be cautious about filling out online surveys, posting the answers to questionnaires on Facebook, or making any information available online or in a text that can give away your identity. Last names, home addresses, phone numbers, and even plans to go somewhere at a future time or day are all fodder for those who would try to bully.

• Say No To Geo-Location:

  While geo-location tools are great for finding out where your family members are or getting yourself un-lost on a road trip, when used on social media networks and across other publicly viewable profiles it gets predators of all types that much closer to your and your kids. Resist the urge to add your location(s) to tweets and posts.

• Speak Out Against Bullying:

  If you or your family see cyberbullying, regardless of how small or insignificant it may seem, say something. Too many children don’t speak up for themselves, and the damages to self-esteem can lead a child to depression, feeling nervous or scared, and in some well-publicized cases to suicide. Take bullying seriously and nip it in the bud as soon as you see it.

• Stranger Danger:

  Only “friend” people online who you actually know. Close friends, family, etc. It’s so easy to let the wrong person into your online life, and once they’re in, it’s not always easy to get them out. Keeping a close eye on who you allow to follow you or see your private posts (such as the Friends Of Friends option on Facebook) can help reduce the chances of a bully smearing your profile with their vitriol.

• Be Smart About What You Publish:

  Some things just aren’t meant to be shared online. Certain posts, and especially those with inappropriate material attached, can get you into hot water… fast. My rule of thumb is that I won’t post anything I wouldn’t be embarrassed to have my grandma show to all of her friends. Your mileage may vary with that one, but whatever you need to help curb your desire to post something embarrassing, use it!

If your child or someone you know does become the victim of a cyberbully, resist the temptation to delete the offending images, text, etc. The best thing to do is to take a screenshot of the material and use it against the bully by alerting the appropriate authorities, whether that’s the police, school staff, or the bully’s parents. For something minor or an isolated incident, a lesser solution may be appropriate, but if there are any serious threats of harm, do not hesitate contacting your local law enforcement. If you need more ideas about what to do, we’ve got a whole blog post on how to deal with a cyberbully.

Additional Resources:

• 11 Facts About Bullying – DoSomething.org
• Facts About Bullying – BullyFree.com
• Cyberbullying Research From 2004-2010 – CyberBullying.us
• Cyberbully Protection Tips for Teens – PsychologyToday.com
• Dealing with Cyberbullying – Tips for Kids and Parents to Prevent and Stop Cyberbullying – HelpGuide.org
• Cyberbullying Tip Sheets – NPCP.org

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When I was a kid, I could ride my bike all over our neighborhood and play outside all day long without seeing or talking to my parents. These days, most parents keep a much closer eye on their kids due to the rise of unsavory characters harming kids. The same thing goes for the Internet; in 1993 most people were still discovering what the “web” was and there wasn’t much cause for concern. But today, the topic of online safety is everywhere and the evening news stories about online predators have most parents keeping a tight rein on what their kids do and see online.

And no wonder. According to the FBI, 1 in 3 kids has been exposed to unwanted sexual material, 1 in 7 have received unwanted sexual solicitations, and 1 in 11 children have been bullied online. (Source) With those kinds of numbers, it’s imperative that we help protect our children at every possible level. A daunting task, to be sure, but one which is just as important as seat belts in cars and wearing bike helmets.

I’d be lying if I said that we, as parents, could protect our children from every conceivable manner of predatory interaction. But the more we know, the more we can do, and action is the key to preventing our kids from being exposed to the wrong kind of people and pages on the Internet. To help you out, we’ve rounded up a handful of ideas that will keep your kids safety and security at the forefront of any visit they make to the web.

• Don’t give out personal information — It’s very easy to take a few pieces of information and determine where someone lives, works, or goes to learn. Remind your children that any personally identifiable information like their last name, address, email, phone number, or school name are things they should keep to themselves. Putting any of that information online puts them at risk for predators.
• Sending pictures and videos are by permission only — Stress to your kids that sending pictures or videos of themselves to anyone online, even friends and family, should only be done with your permission. It’s not just online predators who are a problem. Cyber-bullies often pose as a friend at first to gain their victims trust, then use what they find against them.
• Let your kids know it’s OK to come to you — If your child feels uncomfortable with something he or she finds online, let them know it’s OK for them to talk to you about it. Pictures, video, text… there are all sorts of things that could make your kids feel uneasy.
• Nix any meetup plans — One of the biggest worries we have as parents is an abducted child. Talk openly and honestly to your children about the dangers of meeting a “friend” they met on the Internet in the real world.
• It’s OK to not chat back — If your child receives an email, a text, and instant message, or any other communication from someone they don’t know, make sure he or she understands that they do not have to answer back. It’s not rude; it’s a safety issue. This should also extend to immediately stopping a conversation as soon as they feel uncomfortable.

This blog post isn’t meant to be an exhaustive list of things you can do to help keep your kids safe on the Internet. Rather, it’s a starting point for action and discussion. The best things you can teach your child about staying safe online is to be aware of the dangers, keep sensitive data secure, and provide a safe haven for them to talk you about what they find online.

Many great websites and articles are posted online regarding Internet safety for parents, kids, teachers, and beyond. Here are some additional resources to help you keep your kids protected:

• Parents Guide to Internet Safety (FBI)
• Internet Safety Tips for Children and Teens
• Internet Safety Tips for Elementary School Kids
• Keeping Primary School Age Children Safe Online

We’d love to hear more from you on how you help keep your kids safe online. What tips do you have for kids and parents who are looking to stay safe? Leave your comments below to share your thoughts.

If you’re a parent, you’ve undoubtedly heard about cyberbullying in the media. If you’re a student, there’s a good chance you’ve not only heard about it, you may have been the victim of a cyberbully, or maybe one of your friends has been the target of an attack. The fact is, with the explosive growth the Internet has had since the early 1990’s, cyberbullying has become more and more prevalent and no one seems to be immune.

Just like bullies in the real world, cyberbullies get pleasure from tormenting their victims and the feeling of power from doing it. The reasons for their actions vary, but the end result is almost always the same for the victim: pain, hurt, revulsion, broken confidence, and in the worst cases, death. There’s no guarantee that you, a friend, or a loved one won’t be bullied online, but there are steps that you can take to help lessen their effect and maybe even get them to stop altogether.

Keeping in mind that every case is different, here are some tips that parents, students, and anyone else who may be dealing with a bully can use to help diffuse the situation. With any luck the days of dealing with threatening and/or harassing people will be short lived.

• Block any cyberbully you meet online:

  If they can’t contact you, it’s much harder to annoy you. Most services and/or social networking websites have a way to block another user, and if you or someone you know is being bothered, don’t be afraid of blocking them.

• Remember that cyberbullying is a big deal:

  It’s never OK for anyone to harass you, belittle you, or threaten to harm you. If you’re dealing with a bully, make sure to tell a trusted person like a parent, guardian, or teacher. The quicker a responsible adult knows about the situation, the quicker it can be resolved.

• Don’t delete any threatening or harassing messages:

  In many cases bullying comes down to a “he said/she said” scenario. If you’ve been bullied and you have hard evidence, keep it to prove your case. Without it, you’ll have a hard time convincing anyone else otherwise.

• Don’t pass along cyberbullying messages:

  If a friend or relative asks you to forward anything harassing to someone else, or if they ask you to join in harassing someone, just say no. Don’t be a part of the problem, be part of the solution.

• Don’t open or read messages from a cyberbully:

  It may be hard to do, but if someone continually sends you emails, instant messages, or phone calls that threaten or harass you, don’t respond. Most bullies thrive on your reaction, and not letting them get to you lessens the likelihood that they’ll continue.

• Report cyberbullying to a trusted adult:

  Friends, parents, teachers, law enforcement officials… any of these people can help you if you’re being cyberbullied. And if you’re threatened with physical harm, inform the local police immediately.

Keeping safe from cyberbullies is often a matter of removing their ability to bother you and/or just ignoring them. If that doesn’t work, it’s time to get other people involved. Don’t be a victim, stand up for your rights, and be safe!